Kai sä kerroit sille, että oot trans?

Transtausta. Milloin siitä kuuluu kertoa? Tinder-profiilissa, keskustelun alussa, ensitreffeillä vai vasta kysyttäessä? Olin monien läheisteni tavoin itsekin huolissani mahdollisista seurustelukumppaneistani. Onhan transtaustani kuitenkin asia, joka voisi saada jonkun kääntymään kannoillaan. Parempi siis puhua asiasta heti.

Sorruin siis ajattelemaan itseäni turhankin uniikkina. Ajattelemaan, että nämä pohdinnat olisivat vain transihmisten asia. Lopulta kuitenkin ymmärsin sen, että nämä kysymykset kuuluvat meille kaikille, sukupuoli-identiteetistä riippumatta. Onhan meillä kaikilla asioita, jotka voisivat saada jonkun toisen kääntymään kannoillaan. Joillakin se on kysymys lapsista tai avioliitosta, terveydentila, jokin ulkonäköön liittyvä seikka tai esimerkiksi perhesuhteet. Minulla se voi olla transtaustani tai sitten jokin aivan muu.

Käännöspaikkoja on siis monenlaisia ja tulisin niitä itsekin kohtaamaan. Jotkin voivat olla sellaisia, että ne kohdatessani voin joutua miettimään asioita uudestaan, tekemään työtä tai jopa luopumaan asioista. Tuntemattoman vuoksi tuskin olisin helposti valmis moista tekemään. Siksi kaikkea ei ehkä läväytetäkään heti toisen eteen, vaan edetään hitaasti ja kohdataan jokainen käännöspaikka yksitellen ja ajallaan. Annetaan toiselle aikaa tutustua, jotta hän voi aidosti tietää minne suuntaan tahtoo käännöspaikalta jatkaa. Niinpä nykyään, kun joku kysyy, että olenhan muistanut kertoa transtaustastastani, vastaan “Kyllä. Heti kun se oli ajankohtaista.”

Tietoa

Itsekseen elävä, parisuhdettaan odotteleva ja kirkon nuorisotyönohjaajana työskentelevä transmies. Elämässäni ihmettelen ja pohdiskelen paljon, erityisesti ilmiöitä ihan arkisten asioiden takana. Tekstejäni löydät täältä joka torstai.

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