Kuinka monta rakkautta?

Pohdin vieläkin rakkauksien määrää. En ole nyt kiinnostunut siitä montako kertaa kukin meistä on rakastunut, vaan siitä, että onko olemassa erilaisia rakkauksia? Ensimmäinen vastaus, joka putkahtaa mieleen on, että varmastikin on eri asia rakastaa puolisoa, työtä tai koiraa. On siis olemassa paljon erilaisia rakkauksia?

Toisaalta olen kuullut sanottavan, että lopulta on kuitenkin olemassa vain yksi rakkaus. Se on kaikki lopulta samaa ”kamaa.” Moni tuntuu uskovan, että rakkaus on sellaista ”ainetta”, jota leijailee kaikkialla. Sitten se tulee näkyväksi missä tahtoo tai se vaikuttaa siellä missä se herätetään? Näistä ajatuksista on lyhyt matka universaaliin, ihmistä suurempaan, rakkauteen. Osa puhuu silloin Jumalasta. Luojaan uskovat sanovat, että hän on rakkaus tai ainakin kaiken rakkauden alkusyy ja lähde. Toiset taas väittävät, että rakkaus on niin harvinaista, että ei sitä meinaa löytää mistään. Että onko niitä rakkauksia yksi vai tuhat?

Ota tästä nyt sitten selvää ja onko tällä mitään tekemistä arkirakkauden kanssa? Olen välillä ajatellut, että filosofien ja teologien rakkauden pohdinnat eivät tavoita oleellista. Sitä, että rakkaus on tunne, jota ei voi järjellä selittää. Silti huomaan yhä uudestaan ja uudestaan asiaa miettiväni. En pääse kokonaan irti näistä ”viisasteluista”. Asia on paljon pyörinyt mielessä, kun kuuntelin Porvoon piispa Björn Vikströmiä. Hän on kirjoittanut kirjan: Monta rakkautta. Hän näkee, että keskusteluja rakkaudesta voisi helpottaa, jos katsotaan asiaa niin, että ei ole vain yhtä, kahta tai kolmea rakkautta. On monta.

Tausta Vikströmin monen rakkauden pohdinnalle on ajatus kahdesta rakkaudesta. Tuomo Mannermaan kirjoista luin tästä nuorena. Se kolahti silloin. Hän opetti, että ihmisen rakkaus suuntautuu helposti rakastamisen arvoiseen, hyvään, kauniiseen ja siihen mistä on hyötyä. Jumalan rakkaus taas suuntautuu siihen mikä ei ole rakastamisen arvoista. Se rakastaa myös rumaa, epätäydellistä ja hyödytöntä. Uskot Jumalaan tai et, niin tätä pitää jokaisen kysyä itseltään. Osaanko rakastaa muuta kuin kaunista ja hyödyllistä? Joskus tuntuu, että hiukan osaan. Silloin koetan olla kiitollinen ja ihmetellä, mistä tämä rakkaus tulee?

Minusta nämä kaikki osuvat johonkin oleelliseen. Rakkaus on monta, kolme, kaksi ja yksi. Se ei ole vain tunne, ei vain päätös, ei vain lahja tai yksin mitään muutakaan. Yksi näyttää melko varmalta. Sitä tarvitsen, etsin ja pohdin. Joillekin tämä on käynyt vastaukseksi myös kysymykseen elämän tarkoituksesta. Täällä maailmassa ollaan etsimässä ja antamassa rakkautta. Aika lällyä? Eikä kuitenkaan ole.

 

Olen perheneuvoja ja pappi Etelä-Pohjanmaalta. Kotona kanssani asuu neljä eri ikäistä naista, (osa tyttöjä vielä). Täällä päin "puhutaan asioista suoraan". Väite ei tosin pidä ihan aina paikkaansa. Vaikeat asiat ovat täälläkin joskus hankalia ottaa puheeksi. Jos elämässä pitää eksyä ja erehtyä, se on mukavampaa useimmiten kaksin kuin yksin. Siksi kompasteluja on tärkeää jakaa.

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