“Kaikki todellinen elämä on kohtaamista” (Martin Buber)
Jossain vaiheessa syksyä oli menossa kuvahaaste lapsuudesta. Etsin kuvaa ja löysin yhden. En saanut laitettua sitä mihinkään, mutta se palautui mieleeni nyt, pyhäinpäivän lähellä. Olin nähnyt sen monta kertaa, mutta nyt katsoin sitä ensimmäistä kertaa rauhassa. Maitokahvin sävyissä oleva kuva. Minulla on vaaleat saparot. Olen kietonut kädet nuoren miehen kaulan ympärille ja painanut kasvot hänen rintakehää vasten.Kuva on otettu hautajaispäivänä. Päivä oli talvinen ja erityisen kylmä. Muistan ehkä pieniä yksityiskohtia tai sitten vain luulen niin. Olin melkein neljä.
Sellainen elämänvirrasta pudottava päivä.
En minä kuitenkaan pudonnut. Tai jos johonkin, niin putosin syliin. Kuva ainakin näyttää kertovan niin. Kummini, 17 -vuotiaan pojan kädet näyttävät vahvoilta kannattelemaan ja hänellä on lämmin hymy. Hän etsii alas painunutta katsettani. Hän on siinä hetkessä turvani. Turvasuhteita ne ovat, kaikki ihmissuhteet, joiden välissä rakkaus ja välittäminen on virrannut. Myös ihminen, jonka saatoimme matkaan päivänä, jona kuva oli otettu, oli turvasuhteeni.
Kiitän teitä, jotka elämäni alussa ja myöhemmissä vaiheissa olitte rakkautena ja turvana – olette sitä yhä. Te punoitte minuun turvan ja rakkauden säikeet ohuella, mutta riittävän kestävällä langalla. En minä teistä ketään koskaan unohda, aina te olette lähellä. Sytytän teille yhteisen kynttilän. Vien sen pyhäinpäivänä runoilijan haudalle, niin kuin aiempinakin vuosina.
Tiedän, että olen nyt hieman pateettinen, mutta tässä kohden en välitä. Haluan samalla sytyttäessäni kynttilää ajatella ja kiittää syvästi myös teitä, jotka olette nyt, tässä ajan hetkessä vierellä, lähellä ja turvana.
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